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Black Velvet

07 Aug

This was written for the Two for Tuesday Challenge #20. Prompt: Black Velvet.

 

I noticed a softness against my cheek, then the ghost of an ache I couldn’t justify – the idea that my skin and muscles wanted to scream in pain but didn’t know why.

I managed to sit up on the black velvet sofa, only to find myself dizzy from hunger, tiredness and confusion. There were equally dark, glossy sofas outlined against jet walls. Ebony cloth was draped over what I hoped were windows, but could just as easily have been mirrors to the room’s dark interior.

Before I had time to question my visibility in a closed room lacking a discernible light source, I saw an emaciated old lady emerge from in front of a door I hadn’t noticed, and had not heard open. Worried that the room itself was muffling all sound, and fighting a mounting feeling of claustrophobia, I opened my mouth to speak, but no sound came out. I coughed soundlessly, trying to regain the use of my voice.

‘Let’s try again,’ the woman said as she walked closer to me. Her body lit up, blinding my eyes. ‘I promise it won’t take long.’

Word Count: 186

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6 Comments

Posted by on August 7, 2013 in Flash Fiction

 

Tags: , , , , ,

6 responses to “Black Velvet

  1. ahblack57

    August 7, 2013 at 11:59 am

    I found this very evocative and mysterious. Great descriptions. You left me with a whole host of questions. How did she get there? what is the purpose of the black room? Who is the old woman? What is she going to try again? I liked it very much.

     
    • fminuzzi

      August 7, 2013 at 1:38 pm

      Thanks! I like leaving people with questions, perhaps too much…

       
  2. rosedandrea

    August 8, 2013 at 3:13 pm

    Wow. Just about made my skin crawl.
    I agree with ahblack57, it does leave one with a whole lot of questions. 🙂
    You’re very good at description, too, fear and confusion were all over this from the moment she sat up.

     
    • fminuzzi

      August 9, 2013 at 11:46 am

      Thanks! The prompt felt very physical to me, so I tried to go in a descriptive direction (which I don’t always think to do, especially with short pieces).

       
  3. connorbros

    August 8, 2013 at 4:01 pm

    Personally, I read the ‘I’ as a he, though I really like that both interpretations fit but produce a different tone.

    -Dustin

     
    • fminuzzi

      August 9, 2013 at 11:47 am

      I’m glad there’s a variety of interpretations =) I wonder how much the gender of the reader and/or writer affect the interpretation of who ‘I’ is… Maybe I should make a poll.

       

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